While we do try to keep this blog quite light and airy like a cloud, some things just cannot be ignored for the sake of public safety.
It is my sad duty to advise all our readers that it would appear from a recent report from the University of Ottawa that should there be a zombie attack for real, civilisation would be wiped out. Sobering news, but sadly based on epidemiological data regarding the spread of infectious diseases Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his name) says that even if we hit back and took out the first few waves, our demise is inevitable.
I know there will be sceptics amongst you, but here’s the proof:
http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf
This is clearly a ridiculous waste of resources as anyone who hasn’t been in a research lab for the last 20 years will know that in the last few years zombies have evolved. They are no longer the low IQ ‘shamblers’ of the past, but are able to run as fast as they could when alive, they can climb buildings and walls, and no longer just repeatedly walk into glass doors but work out other methods of getting in. Some can even use weapons, and there have even been reports captured within zombie documentaries (e.g. 28 Days Later, the recent version of Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead) where some of the undead have retained the ability to make intelligent, reasoned decisions making them fiersome adversaries.
If Professor Smith? is telling us that shambling zombies represent the death of civilisation as we know it, then we really are in trouble if the latest strain of undead begin to walk the earth. I would recommend stockpiling food, fuel, and ammunition, and possibly moving your family to the coast and buying a boat. Until they learn to swim that is….
This might save some of us:
